Ghosts and Ninjas
by KiyomiShizuru
Summary: What happens when Ninjas turn up in my attic? Self insert fanfic. I suck at summaries. Maybe OC X Akatsuki. Not OCC, no lemons Yuri or Yaoi. I was expecting my two bestfreinds not Bad-ass ninjas to kidnap me
1. Chapter 1

Naruto Fan fiction self insert – Ghosts and Ninjas

Turning the key in the door I heard the lock mechanism click open. Swinging the oak forward I took a deep breath in and took a step into my new home.

I guess you're wondering what the heck? All I'm doing is walking in the front door but I didn't know that my new home would perhaps not just change my day but maybe my whole life.

About me I have long brown hair. On a technicality its copper coloured a colour which is recessive in my family with only my great grandmother having it. But I never met here. I have Hazel eyes which almost appear to be black so it hard to distinguish the pupil. I have freckles too and I am only 5'5. I am the smallest of the three but the oldest at 18. I was born on September 13 (the same as bella in twilight or as out special name for it is Twatlight. I mean sparkling vampires? WTF. Also I am the only one who will pick it up with my bare hands. Sorry no offence intended but this is the truth.)

Well I should explain the situation, you see at the moment I have just entered my new flat which I am going to be sharing with my two best friends Emma and Frankie. They live a good few hours away from the flat, with their parents at the moment. But now we are looking forward to spending time together. I haven't got much of my things here yet only a few cardboard boxes' and probably a week's worth of clothes.

The place is so dusty; apparently it has been derelict for some time. Something about strange noises in the night and ghosts. That's one of the reasons we decided to move in here. Emma loves horror movies, and Frankie enjoys them as long as Emma is there to protect her. Me I am not too keen on them but I like the idea of sharing a flat with a ghost. I just hope it's friendly.

The flat has three bedrooms a living room small bathroom and kitchen. It seems like quiet an old place with the way the floorboards creak beneath my feet. It may have something to do with the case I am dragging behind me with my clothes and other essentials in.

Dragging it across the hallway I pass Emma's fish tank which is currently cycling. No it isn't riding a bike. Before Emma puts her fish in the new tank, she needed to set it up and let the water adjust. Also there are some bacteria or something that the fish need to thrive so it has to be left to cycle so it's right for the fish. Next to it is my small mini tank of goldfish. Mine and Emma's fish won't live together since gold fish are bullies so I have heard. I must remember to feed them later.

Eventually I reach my room. It's still quite bare. I have a few drawings I have done up on the walls to decorate and pictures of random anime characters. No I am not a Naruto-tard I haven't even finished the first series never mind getting on to shippunden but I do read lots of spoilers. That goes for most anime's I remember I stopped watching Clannad after story as a certain someone who was one of my favourite character makes an exit (not wanting to reveal to much).

Putting my clothes away folding the various items since my wardrobe hasn't arrived yet. I ordered it ages ago yet the delivery company said if I want it this side of Christmas I will have to pay extra! It cost me enough as it is I'm not paying extra _yup that's me a cheap skate. _

I pick up my mobile to see if there is any news on the terrible twos whereabouts. They said they should be here tonight, but that's very vague. I know I will phone Frankie. Not Emma since she broke her phone after dropping it in her fish tank while trying to explain to Frankie that she couldn't go out to get hay for the rabbits since she had to clean the fish tank. Yes that's normal. Emma and Frankie have been best friends since halfway through high-school. We met in college where a friend introduced me to them, that friend later quit after getting drunk in college as she didn't like our teacher.

"Frank, you there." I say down the phone. Frankie is careful with her phone, as she can play sim's on it. That just happens to be one her passions.

"Lizzz! I'm here. It's not frank!" She says. Frankie doesn't like the nickname frank. Her real name is Francesca which she hates with passion and refuses to use it. So we call her Frank for short.

"Hey, just wondering, how far away you are since I'm gonna make something to nom and I don't want to make something for you guys and it goes to waste."

"Me and Wibsy are just getting on the train going to be another hour yet." Wibsy is Emma's nickname

"Hm, ok. What about Sammich's?"

"Sounds good. Wobbles is still on a diet though, so we have to have wholemeal bread and no butter."

"I though she went off the diet. Ok I got the bread, will she have ham? Do you want beetroot like usual." I ask

"Yeah she did for half a day. She said she was taking a break since I brought chocolate over. Beetroot is good; em says ham is good to."

"Right'o, anything else? Do you want meeting at the station I can help you with your stuff?"

"Wizzah! Hey, I finally got the phone off moo-cheese here. Ham is fine thank god chazz isn't here he would be eating it before me." Wizzah is my nickname and Chazz is the nickname for Emma's cat Charlie who loves ham. Moo-cheese is what Emma calls Frankie for fun too. Our life is full of nicknames.

"Em, you don't need to be on a diet you need to put on weight not lose it."

"I need to though, I have fat roles." I can hear sniggering in the background and something like don't wine fat lard that has to be Frankie.

"Never mind, Gimme a call when you get to the station ok?"

"Okay, we will. Well if Stink has credit and stops spending it on Sims bonuses."

"Laters."

"Bye! Until next time" from both my besties. I love them, they are the only true friends who know the real me. Normally I just don't speak to people, I'm shy ok?

Hanging up my stomach lets out a gurgle. Cue me groaning. I had better make the Sammich's. Pulling out a hair bow I tie my long brown hair into a ponytail behind my head, and start to prepare the feast of butties. After about half an hour, the beetroot, ham and jam Sammich's are ready.

I yawn, I've been up since 5am this morning since I had to get to work, pack a load of things for the flat. Travel all this way about 2 hours and sitting on a train for two hours is no fun. Emma and Frankie got the bus to the train station. Well actually 2 busses and a taxi. That has taken them a few hours already.

Flipping on the kettle I make myself a mug of hot chocolate, what? It's November and I'm cold. The heating doesn't work in the damn house. The landlord said he would get someone out to fix it. The words when pigs fly come to mind.

Once that is done I place my Sammich's on the coffee table along with my hot choc and look for my sketch book and pencils. Yes my favourite way to relax is to draw. I am not the Greatest, Emma is much better. She is amazing it's like they come jumping out the page at you. While I'm in my room I grab a blanket and pillow too, then haul the load to the living room where the ultimate chill zone is coming along.

After I finished the Sammich's I begin to sketch. I carefully draw a circle with a sharp pencil, and draw the guidelines for the face. Who to draw though? I know how about my OC Kiyomi? Nah I've drawn her to much lately. Mai? No I don't have any pink pencils and Mai likes pink. I don't feel like drawing a guy. So I decide on an almost self portrait except in manga form.

As dusk approaches I barley even realise it. Until my phone vibrates. I have a message: Frankie.

Liz, Train broke down hunk of junk. Have to wait at the station for another one. We have run out of chocolate supplies and em's getting pissy I think she's on her period.

A moment later

:O Wiz, I don't think stink will make it here in one piece if she keeps on being a moo-cheese. Oh holy jelly beans, she's giving me the look. I think she will rape me in my sleep. Could be hours before the replacement comes. Em.

I let out a huge sigh; I'm going to have to spend the night on my own with a ghost and no Emma to protect me. She knows how to defend against ghosts since she has watched every horror movie going.

Pulling the blanket around me further I let my Pad fall to the floor. Gently I place my head on the pillow and curl up further into the sofa. My bed has too many boxes on and I am being lazy.

Unknown to me I drift off into a peaceful slumber.

Third person POV

Thunk! Thunk!

Two crashes were heard from the attic. Hushed voices then proceeded to follow.

"Shut it brat. Let's just get the girl and go I don't being made to wait." The first voice said

"Yeah I know Danna, un. This place is so freaky, yeah."

"And you're not." The first voice replies in a monotone.

"Shut up Danna, anyway at least I know the meaning of art, un."

"No, you don't art is eternal no your stupid fleeting crap."

"Art is not eternal, the true beauty of art is in an explosion un."

"Eternal is always better and is the ultimate art. Now shut up brat, we need to get the mission over with its taking too long."

"Fine un." The second said the annoyance obvious in his tone.

Liz POV

Thunk! Thunk!

I heard two muffled thunks coming from above me. Could it be Wobbles and Stink? No I don't think it would be, Frankie would come running in throwing her things everywhere and Em would look at her and stand in the door way grinning and say how Frankie's in for it rough later. (Personal joke. No Yuri/ Yoai whatever it's called)

Drowsily I open my eyes. It's too warm under my blanket. I want to stay here.

But what if its robbers? What if it's the Ghost?

If it's the ghost its friendly since it hasn't killed me yet and it did have the ideal opportunity while I was asleep.

Rubbing my eyes tiredly I yawn loudly, well I had better get up since I'm awake. Once I'm awake I find it hard to get back to sleep. Maybe I should finish my room; I have a few more drawings in boxes to put up. I managed to draw a chibi of some of the Akatsuki, its only half done but I don't want to muck it up. So once em gets here I'm going to ask for a few tips.

With the blanket still wrapped around me I comb a hand through my long brown hair straightening it out. I should remember not to sleep with it down. Then I quickly brush my full fringe back to cover my forehead.

Making my way out of the living room I catch my toe on a random box. "Owwie." I say massaging my poor toe. Then kicking the box for good measure. That should teach it to attack my toe.

As I kneel down by my bed rummaging to find my drawing folder, I thought I saw a figure in the doorway. I shrug it off as my imagination.

"Ah ha."I exclaim pulling out the half finished master piece (well in my eyes)

Turning I look for some tack to stick it up with when I hear another Thunk!

Okay someone is defiantly here.

Who could it be? I can't be the ghost.

Godzilla, A yeti, The Ice-cream man?

Damn I don't even have any weapons, I would rather it be Godzilla or a yeti. The ice-cream man is just too much to deal with. I mean that smile when he hands you your ice-cream it's disturbing. Ok not all Ice-cream men just the one who seems to stalk me. I saw him in the supermarket; he hung around in his van outside my school. One time he even came to the local swimming baths and believe me an ice-cream man in Speedos is not a good thing.

I quickly look through my nearby boxes and find a total of three weapons:

A sharp pencil

A Text book

And a hairdryer

Okay the hair dryer is out since I need to plug it in also what am I going to do with it? Blow them away with the awesomeness of Argos-value hair dryer (what I am a cheap skate and also I'm a student. It does the job.)

A text book could do a bit of damage but my aim is really bad. So that's out

That means I am left with a sharp pencil. I guess it could do some damage if I stab someone with it.

By the powers that be I decided on the pencil.

Putting on my bravest voice I clutch the pencil with one hand and my mobile in the other. When I come to the door I place my phone in my pocket.

As I edge my way into the Hallway I find Frankie's door open. It was closed. Peeking inside I can't see anything out of place in the derelict room. So I go back into the living room.

A floorboard creaks. My exact thoughts were _Shit!Shit! Shitty Shit shit! The Ice-cream man is stalking me! It has to be. _

Diving behind the sofa another floorboard groans under the weight of someone.

"The girl is in this room." I hear the first voice say. It's an emotionless tone a harsh one too.

"Yeah, I can hear her breathing un."

Then the movement stops.

"You know you're not very good at hiding yeah." A teasing voice comes from behind me

I spin around pencil in hand ready to stab the creeper with it. But his hand grabs my wrist.

I feel the colour drain from my face. One word runs through my mind Shit.

I look at my attacker? Could you call him an attacker? He hasn't hurt me so I guess not. Hmm my creeper then. Unwanted house guest? Yeah that sounds right.

Ok so I look at the unwanted house guest who currently is still holding my wrist firmly.

This guy actually looks like a girl long blonde hair. (Almost as long as mine) with part of it in a ponytail. One eye I can see I can't make out the colour in this light. The other one appears to be covered with hair.

"Could you let go please? I won't use my weapon if you let my wrist go." I say trying to sound confident but voice wavering.

"Let the girl go. It's not as if she could harm you with that drawing tool." The second voice says.

Oh holy cows, No sod that Oh holy all of the bovine genus as well as equine and whatever else you want to include. (Yes I know I am weird)

The first one does as he is told and I drop my pencil in shock. As soon as I realise I reach out to grab it but the blonde grabs it first throwing it out of my reach.

"Ok, I know this is going to sound so cliché but who are you what do you want and why?" I say in a rush adrenaline is pumping through me

Then my phone goes off. I flip it open and the light from it reveals the man in front of me to have blue eyes and a steel headband on his head with a slash through.

Oh holy cheese. (Yes I have gone from cows to cheese)It's Deidera, from Naruto Shippunden

Turning in the Direction of the second voice I see read hair and an indifferent expression. Sasori.

"You do not need to know that. We have been instructed to retrieve you not explain in the terms of a simpleton."

"Who you calling simpleton! I will have you know I got decent grades in my exams." I hiss trying to hide the fear and control the anger.

"Danna shouldn't we tell her though? It's not like she's going anywhere." Deidera says looking at his Danna

"Shut it brat. This is why I am the dominant one in this partnership. I was entrusted with the mission scroll so I will do as I please. You and your fleeting art is nothing but a waste of time." Sasori snipes at his partner.

Slowly I shuffle backwards away from them both. Until I am in the doorway.

I jump up and go to run to the front door. Just as I reach for the handle my body stops moving. Taking a sideways glance since I can't move my head I see blue strings. Oh those must be Chakra strings. Well crap I am screwed. I think to myself. As the puppeteer moves the strings making me walk back into the living room.

As I stand there the infamous Danna say's "Just knock her out all ready brat. My patience is wearing thin."

"Fine, un. Don't move yeah." Deidera says

I grit my teeth if I could I would. I can't even seem to move my jaw.

I feel a prodding at the back of my neck but remain conscious. This happens a few times but nothing. Well thank you fate, it's a little late but you got there in the end.

"Danna it's not working."

I think it may have something to do with the high collar jumper I'm wearing.

"Brat, you can't even do a simple job like that. Fine, I'm just glad I brought some in case this proved to be difficult." Sasori's voice comes from behind me.

I hear the movement of cloth; I am presuming he is searching in his cloak for something.

Then I feel my sleeve being rolled up I try to resist but the chakra strings don't allow me to move.

The coldness of the needle causes me to flinch, and then I feel it being pushed further into my skin. The resistance stops and I feel a cool liquid enter me. Oh crap. I want to yell out just to do anything but I can't. Then once again I feel the resistance as the needle is pulled out of my skin leaving a droplet of blood to form on the surface.

Everything starts to become numbed. I can't feel the soreness of my toe which the box attacked. Nor the runny nose which I have. The last thing before all my feeling becomes numbed is the two tears which prick my eyes.

I'm not going to see Emma and Frankie. It was going to be the first time we would all be together in almost 6 months.

My eyes start to become heavy; I don't want to close them. But they continue to droop.

"Danna, should it take this long un?" The blonde asks his tone muffled

"No, she will be out soon. Its taking effect but she is resisting it." I don't know what he said something about resisting.

I feel the muscles in my body relax and my brain has almost gone to sleep the last thing I see I Deidera. He has hold of my sketch pad.

Then my eyes close.

The last thing that runs through my mind is 'damn I forgot to feed the fish'.

Kiyomi: so how was this? It is just a little experiment I have been daydreaming about lately. Please let me know if it's any good. Since I really value others opinions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

(Frankie POV)

Stupid no good hunk of junk trains, stupid stinking rain stupid stinking U.K. weather being nothing but sodding rain. Why did the train track have to flood?

Me and Wobbles were meant to be at the new flat about an hour ago, but now we're stuck in the train station waiting for a bus to replace the train that broke down.

I guess I should say what I look like, as I have the time. Well, I'm tall-ish and I have brown hair and brown eyes. My hair is more reddish brown because I had dyed it red and the dye won't actually come out so it's kind of merged with my normal hair colour. My hair is also kind of wavy, not curly, and reaches mid back. I always make Emma jealous since I can eat as much as I like and I never gain weight. Then calls me anorexic, which I am not, I just can't help the fact that my skinny jeans are a bit baggy on me. I'm 18 along with Em. Liz is 19. Damn Em and I for being born in the winter, lucky Liz was born in the autumn.

That brings me to Emma, who is the tallest out of our group at about 6ft tall. She has blondish hair, though I'm not allowed to say blond, otherwise she thumps me. Anyway, she has it cut really short since she used to have really long hair and got bored of it because it was too much work. She has it styled in a 'granny cut', as she calls it which isn't a granny cut at all. She can tie it back if she needs to but most of it just falls out of the tie. Em is also on a constant diet, insisting that she is fat, when she isn't at all. In fact she is a clothes size above me and can fit into some of my stuff, but she doesn't take the dieting over board and always eats the right calories and what not.

Currently, I'm sitting on the cold tiled floor of the train station while a replacement train is arranged, which will be going the longer way around so it avoids the flooded track. I start twiddling the bracelet on my left wrist it's made of red woven fabric with white beads on it saying 'FREMALIZ', which is our group name (You know John and Edward Jedward well Frankie Emma Liz = Fremaliz.)

Glancing out of the corner of my eye I see Wibsy staring at me.

"What do you want?" I say in an arrogant tone, but not meaning it. I put on my best badass face

"Whatchu looking at Stink?" Em replies grinning.

"A fat lard," I tell her. _I know how to push her buttons._

"Meanie," she fake grimaces.

"I know you love me anyway. Any reply from Liz yet? I texted her ages ago," I ask. Seriously it's unlike Liz to take so long to reply. Normally as soon as her phone goes off she pounces on it.

"No, the ghost must have eaten her," Wobbles dead pans.

"You think that would really happen? I mean ghosts are transparent and stuff, you know, so wouldn't she just go straight through?" I ask. _No! Wiz can't get eaten by ghosts she's not even watched FMA yet!_

"You're a numpty moo-cheese. Course she hasn't been eaten. She is probably asleep or in the bath or both. Remember what happened at our last sleep over?" she queries.

"I know how I can forget. I get reminded of it every time I mention it to you guys," I drawl, thinking about the lecture I got after that

"This is an announcement: the rail replacement service for _Blah Blah Blah at Blah Blah Blah…." _All I hear is the train is running, yay! Unfortunately, not that I'm comfortable I don't want to walk. As Wobbles stands up I pull on the leg of her jeans.

"What do you want stink?" she asks, mimicking my fake arrogant tone.

"Meh," I say holding my arms out. This is Fremaliz lingo for 'Piggy back'. All the _normal _people_, normal _is a bad word to us, look at us like were crazy which we are.

Em gets the message and pulls me up. "Em,…Em,…Wobbles,…Wibsy,…Fish Face…"

"What?" Em eventually replies.

Putting on my best and most childish grin I step back a few paces and launch myself on to her, "PIGGGYBACK!"

"Fine," she groans. "But you got to share your chocolate with me," she adds.

Damn there's always a price to pay. Oh well, if it's for a piggy back she can have the chocolate, because I'm nice.

"Woo, giddy up horsy!" I squeal in her ear, kicking her in the side like you would a real horse

"I will buck you off Stink," Em tells me. This, of course, makes me want to kick her again…so I do.

"Owww, bitch you kneed me in my boobs," she whines.

"You don't have any boobs, so don't get in a fanny-flap about it," I cheerily reply.

Okay, I think I will skip from here. Let's just say I'm in trouble with my Wobbles. She had bucked me off and bruised my butt…and she stole my chocolate! Then we got on the train and had some old guy staring at us. Maybe it's cos we had a bitch fight, flapping our hands like idiots.

Eventually. we got to the flat. Em wants to take over now so I better let her.

(Emma's POV)

'Buzz off stink', Finally after too long being stuck at the station we arrive at the flat. Praise the god's.

Arriving outside the flat, we found the door was locked. No biggie there, I mean Liz is probably paranoid about burglars.

So I pull out my spare key and open it up.

Stink runs off inside squealing "WIZZZAAAHHH! I missed you!" She dropped all her bags in the door way, and on my foot… Bitch.

I walk in staying calm, I will Glomp Liz later. ^_^

After walking around for a few minute's I find the Kitchen, nom on my Sammich's and head to my room. Only find Stink in _my _room, sat on _my _bed, sat on _my _pillow.

Plonking my booty down next to her on my bed, I sigh and raise an eyebrow, indicating a question.

"Wobble's, Wizzah no here." Frankie leans over poking me in the ribs

"Have you checked the bathroom she's probably there?" I tell her. Frankie has always been one to jump to a conclusion anyway.

"No, the ghost might be there and I need protecting cos' you're so bad ass and scary and all."

"No, you're going on your own. I will let the Ghost eat you since I don't like you anymore also what are you doing," I tease. Cue Frankie pouting who is sat wiggling around on my pillow.

"Farting on your pillow. Buuuuttt... I no go on my own."

"Fine let's go, dirty pig." I manage to get out before a lead weight... oh no it's a monster, aka Stink, sticking to my back. This is normal.

When we get to the bathroom the doors wide open, Liz's toothbrush and wash bag is there so she was obviously here.

"No here," Stink says, "Ahh the ghost ate her and it's gonna eat us Emma help me!" she yells right in my ear. Well, I can no longer hear.

"I can see she isn't dickbutt. Now I'm deaf." I state deadpanning

"Get Detective Emma out," Frankie tells me. What she means is that because I work hard she thinks I am a genius. So, obviously, I can solve every mystery on earth. Also we both love Sherlock Holmes, but really, who doesn't?

"Can't hear you, and besides, I could go Detective if you get off my back," I tell her, trying to make her feel guilty. She dismounts and pokes me in the ribs for good measure.

"Moo-cheese what was that for?"

"You deserved it."

"Bitch." I flip back.

"I know."

I sigh, without Liz here there is no-one to keep Frankie off me. Normally I plonk Liz in the middle of us so Stink won't poke me. She won't do it to Liz, apparently only I am mean enough to deserve it.

Looking around the living room I spot a blanket on the floor and a few coloured pencils. _Liz's_, I think, unless we have an arty-pants ghost.

"Em, I don't know why but I think this is the work of a Ghost. Do you think it's eaten Wiz?" she asks in an almost frightened tone. If I wasn't here she would be wetting herself by now.

"Let's go, supah charge!" I raise my hands in the air and march onwards to search through the flat again.

Meanwhile, Stink is clutching the back of my jumper. Wimp.

"We will find our baby won't we Em?" she asks, referring to our family like unit, with me being the father and her being the so called mother to Liz. It's kind of weird but in our strange little world it makes sense.

As we climb the stairs the floor boards creak, stupid old house. Stink freaks, saying it's the Ghost. She isn't normally like this. She just doesn't like ghosts ever since one started haunting her at college. It would prank her whenever she went to the loo by turning out lights and writing in the steam on the mirror…

Okay, so there was no ghost. I made Liz do it and a few others in our class too. Cos' Liz is the innocent type, you wouldn't suspect her of pranking you. She is nice, but she can actually be evil if she wants. Still, it scared the crap out of Frankie. It got to the point where I had to wait outside the loo for her.

When we get to the attic there is nothing there, well unless you count dust and cobwebs *shudders*. Cobwebs equal Spiders; Spiders are vile creatures which I absolutely despise along with Liz. Moo-cheese loves them though, she wanted a pet one but I said no she settled for having a pet cockroach instead which her mom wouldn't let her keep so she hid it under my bed.

So I come to the conclusion that there is something in the attic. Do we even pay for that part of the property or not? Oh well who knows? Who cares? We have easy access to it so it makes it fair game.

Maybe Liz is in a mischievous mood and decided to prank us by hiding up here. Kicking the dusty box's aside, an old book falls out. Stink picks it up, if it's diseased, good, I'm not going to get it.

Something catches my eye. A strip of red with a silver heart shaped pendant. A necklace belonging to Liz, whom myself and the Monster got specially made for her 18th Birthday. Carefully I scoop it up off the floor turning the back of the pendant where it has

_To Wiz, _

_Happy 18th Birthday_

_Love_

_Your best friends forever x x _

Engraved into its shiny surface and on the inside there is a photo of us three when we went to Blackpool for the day. She hasn't taken it off since the day she got it over a year ago. I remember her brother saying that it was her most favourite possession and that she only took it off to go to sleep or bathe. Liz would never go anywhere without it. If she were pranking us she wouldn't have lost it.

(Frankie's P.O.V)

While Em searches around, kicking boxes, a book falls out. It looks kind of old and cool, it's leather bound with gold writing on the front, along with a variety of strange symbols. One is like a spiral with a pointy bit on one end, another is like a sand timer, one is four wavy lines and they go on. Looking inside there is what looks like another language.

Well by my powers of deduction it isn't French, or German, or English, or Latin. It's made up of symbols so it's got to be some kind of language like Chinese or Japanese. Below there are English letters, but put into strange words.

As I begin to attempt to read the words out I notice Em has got the necklace we got Liz for her 18th. I know what that means. Liz would never go anywhere without that necklace, like me and Em don't spend a day without bugging each other.

I continue to read over what's in the book, this time out loud. When a bright light shines from the end of the room.

(P.O.V Change Outsiders)

The two teenage girls stand there in the dusty attic as a mysterious light shines in one end of the room. The girls simultaneously shield their eyes from the light clutching each other with their free hands. The book the slightly smaller one was holding has been forgotten, as it lies upon the dusty floor. Moments later, in a matter of seconds, the light intensifies bringing with it a mysterious breeze which causes clouds of dust to rise.

One of the girls calls out to the other, "Wobbles, are we gonna die?"

The other one replies, "Stink I don't know."

At exactly the same moment, they each squeeze each other's hands as the breeze intensifies and over the roaring of the wind two, "I love you." can be heard. (AN/ no reference to Yuri at all. Best friends do love each other but not in a romantic way.)

By now the light has taken over and only two shadows can be seen as the two friends clutch to each other, but then they are forced apart as the yelling dies down.

When the light fades it would appear as if the girls were never there all that remains is settling dust and the old tattered book laying open on the floor.

(Back with Liz)

God my head. What on earth happened?

I want to open my eyes but they're working against me, they don't open. The first sense that seems to return is smell. Inhaling a deep breath, I take in the damp aroma around me. The air is cold.

Next returns my sense of touch. I can feel the cold temperature surrounding me, and I can feel movement below me. A steady rhythmic movement, like walking. Oh, so I am being carried. Now I just got to work out why and who by. Oh god don't let it be a dude as that would be seriously embarrassing.

Why?

Well it just is.

Then my hearing returns. Two male voices from the sounds of it, great, one girl alone with two totally strange guys. Now doesn't this sound fun?

"Brat, stop to make camp at the next clearing. The brat is waking up," the first voice says. It's a smooth voice, but I can't say I know it.

"Danna, stop calling me brat, un. Anyway you call me brat then the bitch brat, how does that work, yeah?" the second one says, irritation present in his tone.

"You brat are male, although sometimes I have my doubts_." _the first voice adds at the end "The other brat is of the opposing gender in case you hadn't noticed. Therefore is a female Brat. Do you understand yet _un._ Or do I have to explain further my patience is wearing thin." he continues in a mocking tone.

God what a bitchy guy. I think to myself. I mean mocking the first guy's obvious verbal ticks, he can't help it, I think.

As soon as my voice returns I should give him a mouthful. In my whole 19 years of life I have never been referred to as brat before. I should wring his neck. Actually, not only his but his partner as my fuzzy memory starts to clear, enabling me to remember previous events.

My eyes open to reveal darkness, as it turns out I'm wearing a blind fold. What is there to see anyway in the Ninja world? It's nothing but trees and rocks and water from what I have seen. They must be afraid I'm going to recognise the place were going and try escape, but since I'm being carried by badass ninjas I don't think it would help anyway. I have my hopes.

God what did they give me? I wonder as my stomach swirls. Then again, I do get motion sickness sometimes. I begin to imagine their faces, thinking of what they would look like if I were to puke all over them. Especially the blonde right in his hair. I inwardly laugh at the reaction I would assume them to have.

Before long, the jerking around stops. To be honest, I had become quite accustomed to it, with it being almost enjoyable. Well if it weren't for what I assume to be a shoulder in my stomach and the motion sickness. Still, I had almost fallen asleep, but then I was rudely awakened.

Jerked from the uncomfortable position on a shoulder, I feel nothing but air beneath me for a moment. _I'm flying! _Then I hit the ground with a hard thud. _Or not…_

Of course I groan, I mean come on, that's no way to treat a lady. Ok yeah, I may be more of a tom boy but still my gender would say I'm a lady. Then the phrase the Lady is a Tramp comes to mind. Oh yeah I'm wearing a skirt and it's probably up way to high now so I probably look like a tramp. Oh well, not much I can do.

Anyway, now I'm sitting on the ground, with my mobility returning to me slowly. After I was cautioned by the voice of the puppet master with his grouchy, _try anything and your dead tone. Do not forget we are S-rank Shinobi a common civilian like you have no chance against us. _And then Deidera adding _Yeah, un. _

My poor wrists are bound behind me by chakra cuffs, or so I am told. Ok, so am I a prisoner or not. You would have thought it would be every fan girls dream to be kidnapped by smexy criminals but to be honest I have better things to do such as...Feed the fish!

"Damn it, I forgot to feed the fish. They're gonna starve now and die and it's my entire fault." I didn't actually know I said that aloud until I get told to shut up, _un. _

Great.

After too long sitting with the blindfold on, footsteps approach me, then the light comes rushing in. I wish he would have warned me first, as upon opening my eyes I am blinded by sunlight. Ouch.

The bomber is sat in front of me with blindfold in hand grinning. Oh yeah, he has mouths on his hands... I have to suppress the dirty thoughts. _No dirty thoughts no dirty thoughts. Damn they won't go away. Bet he uses them for self-blow jobs. Ewwwwww. Disturbing mental image alert. Even worse, what if he cleans himself with them... :O This mental image has been censored for its sheer distrubingness and the mental insanity it may cause. _

Okay now that, that is out of the way.

"Hey, un." Bomber dude gives his infamous smirk. The mental images start to come back. _NO! I can't look him in the eye! _

_"_Hey. So any reason you guy's kidnapped me? I just want to know whether I am going to die or not. If so, can I see my friends first and feed my fish?"

"What are you on about, un? Danna I think she's crazy yeah. Is it that stuff you gave her, hm?"

"No, none of the effects are of those you speak of. This may be her normal mentality," he states in a monotone as usual, not looking up from where he is leaning against the tree.

"So what's you're name, un?"

"Liz. Yours?" I ask in a monotone, although I already know. I have read enough fan fictions and have enough common sense not to show that I know their names. I don't want to end up dead.

"You ask the brat's name yet there is recognition in your eyes," Sasori states his gaze piercing me. _Shit!_

"I don't know what you mean. And what would your name be? If you're not willing to tell me, I have many which I could find for you," I reply cockily

"Sasori. The brat in front of you is Deidera, although you already know that."

"Damn, I was hoping you wouldn't tell me then I could call you ass-hole one and ass-hole two," I murmur to myself, although I am fully aware that they can hear me.

"So Riz-san, what's your Kekkai Genkai un?"

"What! Also its Liz, L-I-Z, you know," I say. It really irks me when people can't remember my name. Heck, it's not hard to pronounce either.

"Kekkai Genkai R..Liz. You know inherited ability..."

"I know what one is. I just don't know what you mean though. I don't have chakra or a Kekkai Genkai."

"So you specialise in Taijutsu," the red head states.

I would face palm, but I can't as my hands are behind my back.

"No. I have no Kekkai Genkai or Ninja abilities or fighting abilities."

"But Leader-sama said you had an interesting ability that he was interested in yeah."

_Does this mean? Oh no. I'm Mary-sue! Nooooo!_

_"_Okay, I don't know what you've been smoking but you're all officially crazy."

"Smoking un? As in Cigar's? Kakuzu banned cigar's, too expensive, yeah," he tells me.

I almost sweat drop. Oh well, I shouldn't have to worry about them being on crack. Kakuzu, Kakuzu? Hm why does that name seem familiar. Oh yeah old wrinkly dude with fairy light eyes, from what I have heard.

"You didn't answer my questions. Am I going to be able to feed my fishy's and see my ultimate besties, who will probably castrate you, when they find out that you were mean to me and took me away from them." Then an evil thought comes into my head "Castration with them normally involves two bricks and a display of the nutcracker in the groin theatre."

At this Deidera's eyes widen and he subconsciously moves his hands onto his lap ready to defend any on coming attacks.

"Shut up," Mr. Oh-so-happy says. In such an oh-so-happy voice.

"Why?" I ask.

"You better stay quiet."

"Why?" It's a seagull from Finding Nemo. (A/N I don't own it! bet you didn't know that)

"Or he'll make you; Danna doesn't like to repeat himself," Deidera whispers in my ear. I shivered. God why did he have to do that. I don't like people being that close to me anyway, with a few exceptions. But not some Pyromaniac who can't seem to determine his gender from outside appearances.

"Fine," I say sulkily. "So comrades, did we stop here to make light conversation or is there a real reason behind it?"

"We're stopping to rest for the night and something to eat, yeah."

"Okay have fun, I take it I'm stuck with you guy's then?"

"Yeah, un. Now be quiet or we'll make you, yeah." That verbal tick of his is getting to be very annoying.

After some time, both the ninjas settle down after lighting a camp fire and what I would assume as searching the area too, since they did disappear for a while and come back, leaving me all on my lonesome. Well not entirely, someone was keeping watch over me at all times. Am I seriously that popular?

Anyway with the darkness descending in for the night I decide it's best if I get some shut eye, after all with the great-leader-y person is interested in my abilities, which I have no idea about. Settling down by a tree, I lie down and bring my knee's up to my chest. I would like to wrap my arms around my legs but no, stupid ninja people have other ideas.

Just as I close my eyes, I feel someone nudge my leg with, what feels like, a foot. Lazily opening one eye I can see blonde hair and a tell-tale smirk. Deidera, go figure.

"What do you want?" I groan, my energy from before seemingly disappearing.

"Here, Danna said we should feed you, un," he says offering a stick of what I think may be dango to me. Seriously, I have never eaten dango in my life, I don't even know what it's made of.

"What is it?" I ask warily.

"Dango, un." As I thought.

"I'll pass," I say and press my head into my knees.

Suddenly, I'm jerked upright by the back of my turtle neck jumper "Eat it, yeah. Refusing isn't an option, un."

"I said, I will pass," I growled as he tries to shove it in my mouth. When I talk, I dodge and clamp my mouth shut.

The next moment someone is pinching my nose. I can't breathe. So I have two options I open my mouth to breathe and have blonde jerk shove whatever it is in my mouth or not breathe. Well, since I'm going to die anyway because I will be utterly useless to them the second option doesn't sound so bad. Does it?

Next moment I know I'm gasping for air.

Damn blonde jerks. No just blonde pyromaniacs, which just happen to be a jerk named Deidera.

The end.

Okay so the first chapter went down really well I got 4 reviews. Seriously I couldn't stop smiling all day when I got them.

I know this isn't as funny as the last chapter but I'm trying. Anyone who has any ideas for which ever character in this fic please let me know.

Also should I make this a romance fic and pair people up. If so who goes with whom?

Please Review! Only if you want to though.

Can I just add thank you to my amazing Beta reader for betaing for me.

And add that as some people may know My darling dog Lucky passed from this world on the 24 of December 2012 at 13.55pm. If you have something good hold on to it, since you don't know when fate will rip you apart, especially at this time of year keep your loved ones close.

Kiyomi

Published 29 Dec 12


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